Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
