i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
