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• (410): View more from Maryland

  That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude it was a lap dance

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Actions speak louder than pants.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.

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• (650): View more from California

  Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office

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• (516): View more from New York

  When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  wait i saw you last night?

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in

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