Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
