Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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