if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
