If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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