Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
