I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize