If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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