I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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