So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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