Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
