This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
