cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
