I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
