so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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