There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
