We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
