i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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