shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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