if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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