First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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