Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
