Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize