Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
