marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
