I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
