i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need water and some morals
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
