OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
