one might say we're banned from that church
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
