do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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