Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
