I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
