Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
