The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
