I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
