Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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