I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
