last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
