Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
