i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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