Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
