I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
