my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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