i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
