i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
