Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
