You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
