If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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