so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
