Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

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(248): View more from Michigan

Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.

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(913): View more from Kansas

So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.

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(716): View more from New York

IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.

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(419): View more from Ohio

having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

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(828): View more from North Carolina

We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is

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(585): View more from New York

Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'

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