Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
