guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
