i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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