If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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