Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
