3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
