Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
