Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
