i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think my fart just growled at me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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