They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
